Orthodoxy and the P90X

The older I get (sigh!) the more I have learned to take God's word literally. Take for instance, the following passage:
"Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."  - Philippians 2: 12-13

Now I know what some of you must be thinking due to the title of this post and the emphasis added to the words "work out". You're thinking, " Oh!, I bet he is going to talk about how the Orthodox do a lot of standing, bowing, lying down, etc."  "EHNNT!" (loud buzzer sound for wrong answer).  No, that's not what I mean. (especially since I have not experienced the lying down part, this is done sometime, is it not?)
No, lately my life has taken on the experience that is described in that "Golden Oldie" from 1961 by Bobby Lewis : " Tossin" and Turnin' "

" I couldn't sleep at all last night!  
Got to thinkin' of you.
Baby things weren't right, 
Well I was tossin' and turnin'
Turnin' and tossin'
a-tossin' and  turnin' all night!"


Whoa! Talk about getting a work out! P90X you ain't got nothing! Whew!

You see here is what's going on inside my sparse grey matter. I read quite a bit. I have searched out oodles of stuff about Orthodoxy on the web. Add to all of that, the books that I have read or I am in the processing of reading concerning the Orthodox Church. My list so far:
"The Orthodox Church"  by (Ware)
"Becoming Orthodox" (Gillquist)
"Let Us Attend" (Farley)
"From Darkness to Light" (Field)
" The Apostolic Fathers" (Sparks)
"Praying With The Orthodox Tradition" (Ware-Parenti-Clifford)
I have even skimmed through, "The Philokalia" (sorry Fr. Gary, but I couldn't resist! But, I have not totally read it so that should count for some sort of obedience, shouldn't it?)
PLUS, I have delved into the "Orthodox Study Bible".
Now, combine all this printed matter with "Podcasts" on Ancient Faith Radio, and let me tell you, I am one excited dude who just can't seem to get enough about the "TRUE CHURCH" that I have now discovered.

"I kicked the blankets on the floor!
Turned my pillow upside down.
I never never did before.
Cause I was tossin' and turnin'
Turnin' and tossin' 
a-tossin' and turnin' all night!"


Like most folks I like to read at night in bed. So I open up, flip pages and lose myself in the author's words.
Questions get answered, questions get raised and bookmarks get placed. Prayers are said, lights go off.

Then...........

"Jumped out of bed!
Turned on the light.
I pulled down the shade,
Went to the kitchen for a bite! (actually, at this part I open up a book)
Rolled up the shade, (I never touch the shades, but it is in the song, so I think it works)
Turned off the light, (This I do!)
I jumped back into bed,
It was the middle of the night!"


Now, my thoughts are NOT about, " I am doing the right thing, you know, considering leaving my present church to become an Orthodox Church Christian type person. Not at all! What I am doing here is trying to take in all I can via the written word. Hunger, hunger, hunger.

I also realize that reading can only take me to certain places and that the true experience lies in the actual experience, and so far the actual has been fantastic!

Saturday past I attended only my 3rd Vespers Service, but already I feel the worship and prayers taking up residence in me and then being past onto Heaven, (talk about being filled!) I have had absolutely no problem (coming from an Evangelical background) with bowing, making the Sign of the Cross and kissing the icons. Or, understanding the doctrine, I find myself amazed and humbled by it all. Thank you, O Lord our God.

Some things I have noticed at Vespers and questions about veneration. There are various icons about the Nave that the people go up to. Not talking about what is on the Iconostasis, but about the other areas of the Nave. Some people go to all of them and some people only go to a select few, I wonder why? Also, on one of the side walls of the Nave there is a carved wooden cross and some folks go that also, I haven't yet gone to it mainly because I am not sure if it's okay, but it must be, since some folks do.
Also I am so "amazed" ( seems like my favorite word about this journey) about how prayers are said in the "plural". The use of  we, our, us etc., so beautiful to do and I understand the reason why. One other thing, I am starting to "catch on" to the singing during Vespers and I find that I am able to get about every third word right! LOL! Sometimes I just slide along with the musical tones and offer up a " Hymn of Hummm..." you know, right now, that works for me and I look forward to knowing all the words. What a blessing!
Guess, my buddy Jim can help me out here, but I do appreciate and desire all comments, so please feel free to make them!

While I am on the subject of comments, I cannot express to all of you who are reading and/or posting comments here on this blog, how much I truly appreciate hearing from each one of you, you are all a giant blessing to me! Thank-you all!

I am looking forward to attending my first Divine Liturgy very soon. So far I have been fortunate to been able to use my wife's car to go to Vespers (she is a nurse and works a lot Saturday nights) but, that will change when it comes to attending on Sunday morning, I will be riding in on my Harley, talk about a work-out! Oh, Baby!!!!

What's In a Word? (On Two Wheels part 2)

I have always been fascinated by words. Within me lies a deep interest in "Etymology" . Etymology is the study of the history of words, their origins, and how their form and meaning have changed over time. For example, lets' take the word : "Awful", In the times we now live in, the word awful is used to describe: extremely bad or unpleasant, ugly and so forth. However, when we look at the word with an eye towards its origin we see that the word was formed from the simple connecting of "Awe and Full, meaning : "Filled with Awe!" = awe-filled or "awful", get it? Big difference, eh?


So here I am talking with Jim in the parking lot about what I am seeing and feeling on this journey into Orthodoxy. " The other day, in fact just yesterday," I said, "I was re-reading "Becoming Orthodox" the book by Gillquist, and something LEAPED off the page to me. It was in the back of the book in the new chapter he added about the passing of 25 years, his update on it, it is here, where he writes about  "Learning to Be Orthodox" in particular the spiritual depth of Orthodox Christianity." I told Jim. (These were maybe not the exact words I spoke, but they are pretty close so I have no problem using the quotation marks, bear with me, please)


I paraphrased something from the book to Jim.


"Jim", I said. " Fr. Peter Gillquist, uses the word, " FULLNESS ! " " FULLNESS  Dude!! " FULLNESS! "


"THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT !!! "  I exclaimed!  Jim smiled and nodded in agreement.


Let me give you, dear reader, the full quote from the book Fr. Peter Gillquist writes:


" I embraced liturgical and sacramental worship not for its exhilaration or ecstasy, but because it was right. It is as though I have come home to worship.
       The reality of this worship has for us opened the door to a fullness of salvation we did not know existed." (emphasis mine)


That's it! That's what I now know was missing! To "fill" that space in me, requires me to become full, (duh!)
And it is by "coming home" to the true Church and faith, which I now see as Orthodoxy, that I will become full. I have held somewhere inside my cranium that one of the definitions of "salvation" was "to become whole". To become that creature that God created me to be. Adam before the fruit snack.


So it is not surprising to me to see that the next line that Fr. Gillquist writes after what I quoted above is:
" It has brought about a sense of  wholeness  for our people we did not have before." (emphasis mine)


"Wholeness!" Maybe there is something okay lurking inside my noggin, after all!


"Two simple words"  answer my " Simple Question Attached"  There is a lot in a word, even 2 of them.


Q.)Why do I have Emptiness ?
A.) Not filled, need to get filled and become whole.


Q.) Why the Orthodox Church ?
A.) Its the "Filling Station"

"Fullness and Wholeness",  yes! yes! yes!


I now feel like the 21 years I lived as a "Protestant, Nazarene, Evangelical, Not Comfortable Attending a Charismatic Church Type Person" has been like pedaling the "Bicycle of Faith" with training wheels attached, rocking from side to side trying to find the sweet spot of balance so I won't fall over!


I now see that all I needed to do, was to take the training wheels off and receive the fullness to become whole!


I'm riding now on 2 wheels! Heading, smack into Orthodoxy.
I may not be on the main highway yet, but, I am certainly on the entrance ramp!


Stay tuned!

On Two Wheels

 Reading is fundamental. Listening is essential. Speaking is consequential. Well, at least when it comes to the synchronization of  my brain with my mouth it is. Now, there is nothing bad here to report, I didn't insult anybody (at least I am not aware of doing so) or create an incident that would be shown on the 11 o'clock news. In fact I am probably the only one that may even be aware of the situation. To some it may be of no consequence at all. I mean it is only a simple matter of "giving the appropriate response" to a greeting that I encountered many times at my "second Orthodox Service" which was Vespers on Saturday night last.
Most of the people who were there greeted me with, " Christ is Risen!" which is a wonderful spiritual greeting in perfect accord with the celebration of Pascha. However, my reactive response to this beautiful greeting was for the most part spewed out from my lips to their ears as, " He sure has!" or " You betcha!" It wasn't until the about the 90th time ( the number is exaggerated for dramatic effect ) that I remembered something about the correct response being, " He is Risen, Indeed!" It was about this time that I overheard my friend Jim (yes, Jim V. of  "You Must Be Jim"  fame) who was standing next to me, respond to someone's greeting of  "Christ is Risen!" with, "Indeed! He is Risen!" So, quickly I realized that, "hey, I got this now! I only have to put the word "Indeed"  in front of  "He is Risen!", instead of after.

Alright, good, got it. ( Hopefully, it is not that important where the "Indeed" is, but I like conformity, and it certainly sounds a lot better than, "Back at ya")

You know, now that I think about it, I have noticed that over the years, I have had a tendency to jumble a few words here and there, which in hindsight may have been the reason that I was always the kid with the "lightest bag of candy" on that dark night at the end of October, due to my occasional habit of saying "Trick or Trout! Oh, well, at least I no longer "celebrate" that day.

Now I started this post off with "Reading is Fundamental" for a good reason. So far, I have finished reading 2 books on Orthodoxy, : "The Orthodox Church" by Timothy Ware and "Becoming Orthodox" by Peter Gillquist, plus I have also received my copy of the "Orthodox Study Bible" which I am in the process of devouring.  In recent days, when I have informed friends of my "exploration and consideration" of the Orthodox Church, I was asked the same question by all, which is "Why?"

 I told them of what I said in my first post here that there was this "space" inside of me that is empty and I long to have it filled. Now, I can understand their question to me. After all, here I am, a Ministry Leader of a weekly Men's Meeting at our church called "Man Up", a member of our church's Men's Ministry Team. A musician on the Worship Team, involved in a Christian Motorcycle Ministry, and years' back in my former church (Church of the Nazarene) I was a District Licensed Minister, where for 3 1/2 years I was pastor of a small church ("Barnegat Bay Church of the Nazarene", a small mission church), former church treasurer, Sunday School Superintendent, Supply Pastor and so on, and so on.

It is also a bit understandable as to why  these friends would ask the following, after I stated my answer to their "Why?" question, They would say, "What are you talking about? "You seem to be right on top of all this spiritual God stuff, and yet YOU say that you feel a bit empty? C'mon Dude, what's the story????? I can't believe this?????

Well, the truth is, " I do feel the emptiness."

However, I believe I have now found the answer to both questions.
1.) "Why do I have this emptiness?"
2.) "Why the Orthodox Church?"

Let me explain.

"Come here, Mr. Watson, I have found something ! "

"Jim", I stated, as I was talking to my friend Jim on Saturday Night past in the parking lot of the church where we had both just attended Vespers ( I would love to do a study on how many things are discussed in a parking lot, it always seems that the person who had to "leave right away" always has time to stand around and talk in the parking lot. why is that?)
 "Jim, I found something as I was  "re-reading" the book "Becoming Orthodox", I said.  It was something I "missed" the first time, that I read it, which was only a day or two ago, I told him.

"I believe I have found "THE Answer" to my search." I said.

"The reason I have been "led" to the Orthodox Church." I followed up with.

"And the feeling, is the same feeling, ( only multiplied a "ga-zillion times) that I got when I took the "training wheels off of my bicycle, so many, many years ago",  "It's about riding on two wheels!" I said.

I then explained it to Jim.

I'll tell you what I said, in my next post.

"You Must Be Jim" (My First Orthodox Service)

"Half a league, half a league, half a league, all in the valley of, "LIFE!" (with apologies to Lord Tennyson).

Never before did I experience the overwhelming presence of  "God" and life, as I did last night at my first Orthodox Service. And, why not?  This is Pascha, and this was Bright Monday Vespers.

I arrived at about 6:20 pm. for the 7 p.m. service, yes, 40 minutes early, I have a habit of being early for just about everything, a habit which annoys my wife. I sat in my car in the parking lot with wide eyed expectation. It brought back to me those childhood memories of  trying to sneak a peek out the window into the darkness of night on Dec. 24th. to get a glimpse of the fat guy in the red suit and his toy laden sleigh. Yes it seemed that wonderful!

At 6:52 I exited the vehicle and headed to the front doors. On my way I noticed a young man wearing a N.Y. Yankees t-shirt in the parking lot. Alright, Yankees, this is looking good. As I climbed the front steps, I paused ever so slightly as my gaze focused upon the door handle to the rich colored wooden doors.
What is waiting for me inside?   I thought.
Will this be the end of a journey? Will this be the beginning?   I pray that it would be both!
Will I find disappointment? Joy?

Deep breath, door open, take step, Oh my!

I am not even going to try and convey the total feeling of that first sight. The beauty of the Iconostasis, the fragrance of incense mixed with the smell of the lilies present, the low hush of people talking. Just let me say that the feeling was the same as seeing the porch light on as you come home. And, I am still standing in the narthex!

Another deep breath and somehow I managed to get my legs to work and I entered into the nave.
I sat down in the back (always a good hiding place), and from out of nowhere a woman sat down next to me and said, " You must be Jim!" "You have the advantage, " I replied. "Your friend Jim, Jim Vivanco told me that you would be coming tonight." she said.  (Well played sir!, I thought) She then handed me a book called " The Vespers of  Pascha" and gave me instructions on how to follow along. I quickly surmised, that I was in the company of the legendary Tammy, that I had read about in Jim Vivanco's blog. "Is Jim here?" she inquired. "No, at least I haven't seen him yet, his last message to me said for the most part that he was not sure that he could make it, but, that he would make Vespers on Saturday." I replied. "Oh well, I hope he does, by the way that is my husband John, up there in the front, he will come over and talk to you later" Tammy said.

Tammy left, and I sat for a moment or two flipping through the pages of the book that she had handed me. I began to pray silently. A few moments later, the congregation (I hope that is the right word for the folks) stood up as Father Gary began the service. Cool, this is what I came for.

It was a beautiful service, so completely different from the services at my church, and of course I expected it to be. It was a pure celebration of  the risen Lord and of life. Towards the end of the service these words were sung by the choir: "This is the day of the resurrection. Let us be illumined by the feast. Let us embrace each other. Let us call "Brothers" even those that hate us, and forgive all by the resurrection, and so let us cry: Christ is risen from the dead, Trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs bestowing life."


That knocked it out of the park for me. And this was Vespers, I can't wait to attend my first Divine Liturgy!

The magnificence of the icons, the sweet smell of the incense, the speaking/singing of Holy Prayers and the word of God. Just wonderful and Holy! The holy presence of God.

"The Lord lives! Blessed be my Rock! Let the God of my salvation be exalted." (Psalm 18 : 46)

There were many times during the service that people were making the sign of the cross, I started to pick up on it and felt very comfortable, but truthfully I need to learn when the appropriate time to do so, last night I more or less just followed along and found myself doing it by feel. Hopefully no ordinances were broken by my behavior. At the end the people, kind of ushered themselves into an informal line and went around to the icons and kissed them. I stayed by my chair, not knowing, if it was proper for me to join in, I sure felt the urge to do so, but the "chicken" in me prevailed. If someone reading this blog can give me some instruction on this please do! Perhaps Jim will be able to "school" me a bit on Saturday. (He did not make it to the service last night ).

As I headed for the door, there was a priest standing by the door greeting people as they left. I had not noticed him before, I approached him and I could tell he wasn't sure about greeting me with "the Kiss of Peace" (I think that's what it is called? Help me out here someone, please) so we kind of shook hands. He and I stepped over to the side into the narthex and he said, " You must be Jim!" (Vivanco, again well played)
" Jim Vivanco said you'd be here tonight, I'm the guy who was a deacon and now I'm a priest, my name is Ken."  "Yes! Ken, I've read about you in Jim's blog, I'm honored Father Ken to meet you" We chatted a bit and then John came over and offered me a copy of the church's bulletin and a little bi-fold titled "Go Forth" and said that there was a very well written article in it that I may find interesting. I promised him that I would read it. (I did and he was right, it was written well and had a great message.)

Father Gary then came over to our little group which at this time also included a gentleman named Tom.
He reached out and shook my hand and said, "You must be Jim" (Vivanco! I thought again, this time my inner voice sounded like Jerry Seinfeld saying, "Newman!"). Yes, yes, I'm Jim, I replied. I had a short but wonderful conversation with Father Gary, who also introduced me to Reader and Choir Director Tim, who did not say, "you must be Jim", Vivanco must have missed him. We shared some quick stories about Staten Island, I grew up there and Reader Tim, now lives there.

Well the time had come for me to leave and I took the initiative to say goodnight, and I gave Father Gary the "kiss of peace" he  said, "Well! it seems that you got that down already!" "Yes, I believe I am going to very comfortable here," I said, "and this Saturday at Vespers, if Jim is here I'll have someone to show me when to make the sign of the cross and keep reminding to go from right to left!"

Dear reader, I felt totally blessed, a bit confused as to when to do certain things, but was absolutely in awe of the message and the presence of GOD.  All Praise and Glory to Him!

"A Simple Question Attached"

Somewhere inside of me there is a space wanting and waiting to be filled. Perhaps it is in my soul, perhaps it is in my intellect, perhaps it is in both. The space has a longing in it to "press in and go deeper" so that I may "know" and "feel" without reservation or dispute, the true way to worship God. The need to fill in this space inside of me, which I see as a "simple question attached to my innermost being" has now led me to consider the teachings of the Orthodox Church.

So, here I go......

Just a mere 8 days ago I discovered on "facebook" (yes, facebook, the Lord uses all things for good, you know!) that a friend of mine (Jim) was reading the "Orthodox Study Bible". So I messaged him and asked him for a review of the study Bible. Jim attends a church that I used to attend (The Church of the Nazarene) before I joined my current church, The Church of Grace and Peace. Quite a different setting between these two churches, but, both are Christ centered. Jim replied, and I was amazed by his review and some of the comments he included in his message. Amazed, in the sense that most of his comments sounded like I had made them, it seemed to me, that we were both "exploring" the same simple question, well at least in my mind it did, guess I should not speak for Jim! But, it was very clear to see that he was considering the Orthodox Church as well and had been at it for some time now. In fact Jim has written about his own journey involving the Orthodox Church and you can find it here: http://orthodoxyorbust.blogspot.com/

For the last 6 or 7 years I had been "exploring" Celtic Christianity by reading many books on it and visiting "official Celtic Christianity web sites and forums" while attending my current church which many would label as a "Charismatic Church". There is of course quite a difference here between the two, but I sought out the value in each. I don't believe I have yet made the connection to get the answer to my "simple question" in either, so I now make a new consideration, that being Orthodoxy.

"The Orthodox Church" by Timothy Ware

So since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery (yes it is Jim!) I have created this blog to become my shared journal, of my journey of exploration, into Orthodoxy. I have in the last 8 days read many articles, visited many web sites, and read a few chapters in the books I have on the History of the Christian Church as they pertain to the Eastern Orthodox Church. Yesterday my wife Judy and I spent sometime driving around the "Shore" to take advantage of seeing the beautiful display of color that the Spring season brings about in God's flowers and trees. We stopped off at Barnes and Noble, where I bought  two books.

"The Orthodox Church" by Timothy Ware (shown above) and "The Philokalia" by St. Nikodimos (shown below). I have also ordered the "Orthodox Study Bible" online from Amazon and expect delivery very soon.

I have begun reading the first book, "The Orthodox Church" and I am very impressed and fascinated by what I have read so far, already several beliefs that I had about the Orthodox Church have been corrected, along with a complete reversal in my opinions on some very important doctrines, WOW! it is amazing what a little education can do!!! I cannot wait to read more!

I am also planning on attending Vespers at the Orthodox Church that Jim has attended (thank you Jim for agreeing to let me tag along!) on an upcoming Saturday.

So where is this all going to lead, can't say as of yet, BUT, I will be posting my journey here, so please continue to visit.